After The Story Fails by Charles Paul Jones
Chapter Four: The Prophets All Work in Marketing Now
You thought you’d hear the truth. What you got was a funnel.
Once upon a time, the prophet stood on the mountaintop, tore their robe, and screamed truth into the wind.
Now they’ve got a podcast, a merch line, and a six-part course launching Tuesday.
They speak with confidence.
They use “activation” and “alignment” and “authentic” like sacred verbs.
They’re here to help.
But first—have you subscribed to the premium tier?
They say this isn’t about money.
This is about value.
Energy exchange.
Mutual empowerment.
(And conversion rates.)
These aren’t con men.
They believe this stuff.
That’s what makes it worse.
Because now the truth isn’t buried under oppression.
It’s been strategized.
Branded.
Contentized.
SEO’d into submission.
And if you call it out, you’re the asshole.
You’re “not being generous.”
You’re “projecting scarcity.”
You’re “lowering the vibration of the comment section.”
But deep down, you know.
You were seeking fire.
You found a landing page.
This is how myth dies now—with affiliate links.
You don’t get oracles anymore.
You get webinars.
You don’t get parables.
You get branded origin stories A/B tested for relatability.
You don’t get discomfort.
You get “edutainment.”
And it feels good, for a second.
It hits all the buttons.
The prophet is funny. The lighting is good.
The testimonials are glowing.
The call to action is clear.
But it doesn’t wake you up.
It sedates you in spiritual aesthetics.
It flatters your pain and sells you meaning at $299 per module.
And you?
You’re not fooled.
Not entirely.
You’re just tired.
Because truth didn’t disappear.
It just stopped scaling.
Real prophets don’t monetize well.
Their message doesn’t fit cleanly into a funnel.
It bleeds.
It stings.
And it doesn’t offer a refund.
So the next time someone tells you they’ve got the answer…
…ask them what it cost them to say it.
If it didn’t break them first,
it’s probably not prophecy.
It’s just copywriting.